


Unexpected Christmas Hope

by Sunshinecowger



Category: The 100, kabby - Fandom
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Alternate Universe - The 100 (TV) Fusion, Angst, Author, Baby, Baby Octavia, Betrayl, Cancer, Car Accident, Child Abandonment, Children, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Lights, Christmas Smut, Cuddles, Daddy Kane, Death, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Fear, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Healing, Healing Sex, Heartbreak, Hope, Humor, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kabby, Kabby Christmas, Loss, Lost Love, Making Love, Our Souls At Night, Pregnancy, Rape, Regrets, Romance, Second Chances, Shock, Smut, Snow, Snowed In, Surprise Baby, Violence, Widow, Writing, afraid, baby in a basket, christmas trees, clarendon, husband, overcoming, widower, wife - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-09-01 15:43:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16768090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunshinecowger/pseuds/Sunshinecowger
Summary: That kind of intensity, that kind of connection and that kind of want was something that most people never found.Life has a funny way of turning your world upside down and when that happens to Marcus less than a week before Christmas, Abby gets dragged along for the ride.A story of surprises, domestic...well, something, daddy Kane (in more ways than one), sexual tension, and hope at the holidays.





	1. Screeching of Tires

**Author's Note:**

> I will still be working on 'Within Castle Walls', this was just something that I thought I would throw out there. My hope is to have it done by Christmas, I'm not planning on it being very long.

The screeching tires, the breaking of glass and hearing his dead wife screaming was something Marcus heard in his dreams over and over again. The dream would always be Callie telling him that she was pregnant, he would feel her skin beneath his lips as he kissed the abdomen where their baby was growing. Suddenly the dream would transport him to where Callie's swollen belly was making her waddle as she grinned from ear to ear, one hand, the one with the wedding ring he had given her was sitting on the baby bump. In the dream Marcus could feel the sense of pride he felt, to see her pregnant with their baby. Then just like always, the dream would switch to the sound of tires, screaming, and pain. Suddenly the police officer would be at his door, his hat in his hands as he asked, "Are you the husband of Callie Kane?" Then Marcus would be in the hospital room where his dead wife and baby were. Those screams were the worst, he hadn't been part of the accident and yet he could hear her as if he had been with her.

He would wake up in a cold sweat – even in the middle of December. Marcus hadn't taken any of the everyday decorations off the walls that Callie had put up and he couldn't bring himself to take down the nursery that was meant for their baby. The nursery had been done in soft yellow and green. There were Winnie the Pooh characters on the walls that Marcus had painted himself. "Creative", that was the word that his wife used for him all the time. He knew it was true, this life had been blessed to them because of his being an author and a successful one at that.

Marcus had drafted the house, it looked like a cabin and that was his wish about it. He had spent a lot of time working to create a three-bedroom house, a beautiful kitchen – something Callie had wanted, a living room with a large picture window – something that he had always dreamed of having so that he could see the snowfall. Now, the rooms were quiet, there was no more Callie dancing in the living room while she cleaned. How many times had he stood just out of shot in order to watch her? 

The baby, the one they had dreamt of had been conceived six years after their wedding. Callie was sure they would have to go to an infertility doctor when month after month would go by and she still had not become pregnant. Then one Christmas morning, Callie had whispered to him that she was going to have his baby. Marcus couldn't have imagined a better gift. 

The baby had been due in late July, the day never came though. The due date came and went and the calendar just reminded him of all he had lost. That first Christmas when the baby would have going on five months old, Marcus sat alone in the house. What could he do but sit in that living room where they should have been opening up presents for their baby who would have been too small to open them. 

What had gotten Marcus out of the house those first two Christmases was Jake Griffin – he had forced Marcus to come over and celebrate with his family – a wife and daughter. Clarke who would have been just a bit younger than what his child would have been. Even now, Marcus could recall how excited the women were to be pregnant at the same time. 

Just as Marcus was beginning to learn to live again, even though his heart felt like it was barely beating, he was hit with more news – Jake had cancer. Stomach cancer had moved in and took up residence within the friend.  
It was a crushing blow – for him, for Abby and for Clarke. That had been three years ago and still, Marcus had dreamed about both Callie, Jake and a little dark-haired boy that Marcus never met. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was nearly Christmas again and as always Marcus purchased a gift for Clarke and Abby. Although Clarke wasn't his child, he at least felt like some of the emptiness was missing when she ran to him with her arms outstretched, Marcus would lift her up into his arms and plant a kiss right on the tip of her nose while she giggled. 

Although Clarke missed her father and would ask questions about him, it was Abby who he understood. 

Sometimes she couldn't say anything at all as she gave him a slight smile that never met her eyes. Yes, Marcus was fluent in brokenness, heartbreak, and pain.

For the first year, he watched as Abby only wore a sweater that had belonged to Jake, so desperate was her need to have a connection to the boy she had fallen in love with and the man that she married and birthed his child. 

Marcus thought that she was lucky in one way, she had a piece of Jake with her always in the form of a little girl that resembled Jake. 

It was last year on Christmas when four-year-old Clarke had smiled up at Marcus, a grin he had a hard time ignoring especially where her eyes lit up – a trait that she had received from Abby. "I want to see the lights." 

"I can flip the living room light on and off if you want me too." 

Clarke had stood with her hand on her hip as she stared at Marcus as if he was a baffling baboon. 

"I can see the Christmas light that way?" She hadn't waited for a response as she hightailed it to the light by her front door. Marcus laughed before walking over to her, Abby was laughing too. 

"I was kidding." With that, he had picked her up before turning to Abby who was sipping a cup of coffee as the snow had begun to fall. "What do you think, Abby, could I take her to see Christmas lights tomorrow night?" 

Abby had smiled, a twinkle softly touching her eyes. It was clear that her pain wasn't gone, but she was learning to live with the ‘new normal'. "As long as I get to come with you both." 

Marcus would have been lying if he had said that he hadn't smiled at that. It would be the first year since the death of Jake that Abby would be going to see them. There was a part of Marcus that was grateful that he would get to experience the moment with them. 

That was a year ago and things had changed for him – well, a little bit anyhow. 

Marcus went out on a few dates with Aurora, she had come to town briefly to do some consulting work. He was attracted to her almost instantly. Her olive skin, green eyes, and long dark hair was something that he found hard to resist. They had sex far too early in their relationship and he knew that from the get-go, then just as quickly as she had arrived, she left. It was for the best, they had only been compatible sexually and Marcus knew that from the beginning too if he was being honest about it. 

Abby had gone back to work, only instead of going back to work at the hospital, she instead decided to work part-time at the McCreary Hotel. The hotel was only twenty rooms, Clarendon was small and they didn't always get people coming into town. So, she worked twenty-five hours a week just to help out McCreary who had been Jake's friend. Marcus helped with Clarke and yet, he still kept a bit of distance between himself and the wife of Jake – never allowing himself to get too emotional, well, not anymore anyway. 

So, time just continued to move forward, him wrapped up in his heartbreak and Abby just making it through each day raising Clarke and trying not to think of the pain that was associated with Jake's death. Then Christmas break came and suddenly Abby had to push herself a bit more than normal, it was up to her to make the season special for the little girl that depended on her. 

Perhaps the worst thing about losing someone is when other people tell you how you should be living your life now. Marcus went to a group for people who had lost their mates and instead it just felt off, something that he had trouble connecting with. If anything, it made him sadder. Abby too had gone a few times and ended up making a couple friends there that she still saw from time to time. Marcus found himself jealous of even that. 

His life felt over, completely and totally over. He didn't have a wife, children, or even the prospect of one. When he left home it was to go out on tours for whatever book had just come out. In fact, he had come home just before Thanksgiving when a book tour was finished for his latest book, ‘The Way our Hearts Break.' 

People had been anticipating a new book from Marcus Kane since the death of his wife nearly four years before. Although the characters names were changed, people believed the book was a glimpse into everything that he himself had been through over the last several years. Marcus was elusive, he didn't want to be seen and in fact, on the back cover of his book, he still had the short hair and clean-shaven face. Several months ago he had started to let the hair and beard grow. 

The only reason he had agreed to a tour was that, well, to be honest, he just needed different scenery for a while. So, he changed places almost every day. Marcus was sent to different states, went to different interviews and in fact, just had his first television interview is seven years. Those moments were always fun the first few days but, then he would see something simple like a couple holding hands, or a woman reaching up to stroke the face of the man she loved, a smile passing between them and suddenly, his chest would tighten. 

One of the things he had written about in the book was how emotional pain turned into physical pain. For him anyway, that was as true for Marcus as it was for the character he wrote about. For Marcus, the pain would start in his fingers when he saw a couple being close. The pain would spread into his chest and although he didn't think he would ever admit it, the cold truth of being alone even hit him square in the groin. 

That was something too, sex with Aurora had only happened a handful of times and she had nothing on Callie or the memory of her. So, except for his own hand, he wasn't using his manhood for anything other than peeing and that not only made him sad, it made him angry. Who was he mad at? Well, anyone who had left someone behind, made him mad at a deer who ran out in front of his wife's car and it made him mad at Callie for choosing to drive when he had asked her not to drive when the rain was coming down so hard. It made him mad at every nursery that had ever been painted and at a bed meant for two that wasn't meant to be slept in by one. 

So, for a man who worked at home, he was surprisingly fit. When he missed his wife and child even all this time later, when he had writers block or when he needed a fuck and Callie wasn't there for him to lay down with he went instead to one of the empty rooms and worked out until he was so sore and tired that there was no choice but to sleep. 

Yet, even with the exhaustion that would overtake him, the dreams would still come. They would still torment him, the losses of his child and wife would break him all over again. There were men from that group who had remarried less than two years later and Marcus still couldn't really move on. 

Aurora, well, it is already known that she was beautiful and yet, Marcus knew he would never love her, to be fair, she probably knew that too. Once she had wanted to stay over, she had dropped several hints. Aurora was sick of having to leave immediately after. There was a part of him that could understand that and yet, he hadn't been ready to share his bed with another woman, not in that way anyhow. The sex always took place in his office or on the couch in the front room, in fact, Aurora had never been invited to his room.

Marcus knew it was time to move on and yet, he was sure that there would just never be away. Instead, he pulled on his coat despite the cool air and walked into town to grab coffee grounds. Ever since he had reached adulthood, he had to start his day with coffee and just this morning he had run out. So, instead of taking the old Jeep which he loved, he decided to walk. 

The lights were full and bright, kids were laughing and talking about which video games they were hoping to receive while the younger ones couldn't wait until Christmas Eve when they would stay up and wait for Santa himself to come down the chimney. Marcus found himself smiling as kids despite the cold ran around the large tree in the middle of town square. 

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and passed several shops that were very busy for a Sunday night. However, Christmas was just a few days away and he supposed people were trying to get the gifts that were high on everybody's Christmas list. 

The small ranch market sat just in the center of town, at this time of year the fruit stands that sat outside were pulled inside the store. Marcus supposed he missed walking down in the mornings and picking out fruit and yet, there was something sweet about the Christmas lights that hung on the eves while the windows had paintings of Christmas trees, snowflakes and presents. 

Marcus stepped inside the store and headed to the small selection of breakfast items, there was only about five cereals to choose from and two types of coffee – decaffeinated and caffeinated. He always took the one with the one that would give him the most energy even though he always told himself he would switch to decaffeinated eventually. 

When he walked up to the cashier, the young man smiled, "Mr. Kane, thanks for signing that book for my mom, she tells everyone about it." 

"I'm glad she liked it, Jasper, how is everything with you?" 

The young man shrugged, "I met a girl." 

Marcus couldn't help but smile as Jasper's smile lit up his entire face. It brought back unnecessary memories for him as he watched the younger. He handed over the cash as he gave a small nod. He reached out and placed his hand over the large can, lifting it easily, "Well, if you enjoy her, hang on to her and do whatever it takes to be good to her." 

Jasper nodded, "I plan to Mr. Kane. Merry Christmas." 

"Merry Christmas, Jasper." 

Marcus headed back out in the cold Clarendon night and made his way back home. He was well aware of the sad eyes that were on him, he was sure those heartbroken looks would never end. The snow began to fall, he tried so hard to enjoy it, even pictured a hot cup of cocoa in his hand with extra whip cream just the way his mom made it for him when he was a kid. However, nothing he envisioned seem to help. 

As he neared the house, he heard a small sound, something he couldn't quite make out. He had stopped and listened, thinking maybe it was a puppy or a kitten, not that he wanted a small animal to take home and at the same time he wouldn't have left it out in the cold. The sound would stop and then began again. 

It wasn't until he stood just in front of the cabin with the large porch that he realized the sound was coming from his own house. Marcus pulled his cell phone out his pocket and tapped on the flashlight app, slowly he turned his phone around the yard, trying to find the animal that was making all the noise. Marcus made a clicking sound with his tongue in hopes that whatever it was would come out. Only instead the noise stopped. 

He shook his head before Marcus decided to give up and head inside where he decided he would put on a movie and maybe fall asleep to it a bit later, that was if he could sleep. The steps were becoming slick with rain and Marcus knew that he would have to salt them down in case the temperature dropped to low during their night. The key was in the lock as the sound came loud again, Marcus turned his head to the right and saw nothing and then turned his head to the left. 

There was a brown basket and the blanket that was being moved, Marcus was sure by some kittens or puppies. He quickly sat down the coffee and went over to the animals that must be freezing, he bent down enough so that he would be able to grab the basket and slide it out from underneath the porch swing. 

The basket was still on the ground when Marcus pulled back the yellow blanket and then he almost fell back in shock. There was no litter of kittens or puppies. Instead, there was a tiny baby who was obviously upset as they let out a sad, hoarse little cry. 

Immediately he looked over at Abby's house, wondering what he was supposed to do with a baby. The Christmas lights were on, the ones that she had asked him to hang for her. He would call her but first, he had to get this tiny little being into the warmth of his house. Marcus carried the basket into the house and set it on the coffee table and for long moments just stared down, as if he suddenly no longer knew how to move his own body.  
He had to silently shout at himself to move before he pulled off his jacket and the gave the baby his complete attention. Marcus pulled the top blanket off and then slowly and carefully reached in, one hand behind the head and the other just under the baby's bottom and lifted the tiny little person up to his chest. "I wish you could tell me how you got on my porch." 

Inside the basket was a bottle that felt slightly warm, in an effort to calm this child, he cradled it within his arm, speaking softly as he put the nipple into the baby's mouth. Instantly the little mouth began to pull milk from the bottle and Marcus felt himself take a breath of relief. Marcus bunched up the blanket and put it between the baby's small body and the bottle so that it would stay in place. With his free hand, he felt inside the basket and was relieved to find formula, diapers, and a few changes of clothes. When he found the envelope, he pulled it from the basket immediately. 

‘Dear Marcus,

I can't do this, you have the money to give it a try. You are to call her Octavia Marie Kane. Yes, she is your daughter. I'm sorry to spring this on you. Octavia's birth certificate is enclosed. I love her too much to leave her in foster care. I know you're a broken and depressed man but for her sake, smile once in a while.

Aurora'

To be continued……


	2. Abby

Abby had been alone a long time and still, she wasn't used to waking up alone. There were times when she found herself still reaching for Jake. The snow fell outside, she could tell by the light on the street, it was still dark out and yet, she could see the small snowflakes drifting by the glow of the street lamp. The chill hit her skin, Abby instinctively pulled the blanket up as she turned on her side in order to look out the window.

  
There were things that Abby knew for sure and one of those things was that Clarke was still asleep. The blond-haired beauty would have already of been bounding down the hall with her voice calling out for her mama. When Clarke had first been born, Jake hadn't wanted their little girl in the room with them, so that first night without Jake, Abby let Clarke come into the room.

  
Even with the mistakes that she and Jake had made together, there had also been a lot of love. So, much so that there were times in the beginning that Abby hadn't known what to do with it. What she found herself doing was following Jake from California and ended up in Clarendon. Right now, she was missing the sunny and warm sandy white beaches of Huntington Beach. She smiled to herself as she thought of the way it felt to let her toes slip beneath the warmth of sand before walking into the water.   
On this particular morning, she was grateful for the silence of her daughter, Abby was feeling downcast. It wasn't that she never felt a bit down, she had learned that the holidays brought not just good tidings but it also brought downright sadness. There were moments when she wondered what the point of everything was, there had been a life that she had expected and instead her idea of having more children seem to have died right along with Jake.

  
This time of year, like the couple of years before were difficult for her. It seemed as every commercial that came on television was of a husband giving his wife a beautiful piece of jewelry. Just down the road at the small shops that lined Main street were kids giggling while Abby couldn't help but notice that Clarke although she was still a happy little girl, there had been a change.

  
Abby having had been a doctor knew exactly what was happening and still, she felt helpless to be able to stop it. It was Dr. Abby Griffin who had led the seminar to other doctors helping them to catch the early signs of depression. Hadn't she stood up in front of a large group of specialists and taught them about what to look for.   
The thing is though that Abby never thought that she herself would be going through the deep dark sea of depression, where it felt like wave after wave was crashing on top of you, where there was no life raft to be seen, no lighthouse with the warmth of its light flashing over her so that help could be sent. No, her only companion as of late was her daughter who was too little to understand the depth of the darkness that surrounded her mother.

  
With great effort Abby had finally kicked back the covers, a small groan being released from her throat as she forced herself up. Easily she slipped the slippers onto her feet before walking down the hall and checking on Clarke who was on her stomach, her thumb stuck firmly between her lips as a light snore seem to hum through the room. Abby would have kissed her daughter and yet, Abby knew that it wouldn't be long before the little girl was up and ready to go from zero to sixty in about two point three seconds.   
She headed downstairs to turn on the coffee pot, the one thing that she really looked forward to each and every day. With that, Abby walked back into the master bedroom, slipped off her robe and stepped into the warmth of the shower. If she was being honest with someone besides her own thoughts, Abby would say that she missed when Jake would step into the shower and wrap his arms around her, it wasn't that they had sex every time that happened, she just simply missed being held.

  
It wasn't as if Jake had been the only guy that she had ever been with, there had been two others. Her first boyfriend, Sinclair who really loved her and Abby had believed that he would be her forever. Then there was one night when she was interning at the hospital and that was when the attack happened, Vinson had been a patient brought in after he was in a fight. Abby had been left alone with him while the doctor and head nurse headed out to check on other patients.

  
To this day she can't recall any signs that he was going to attack her. Abby had been at the sink washing her hands, she reached over to grab the paper towel when suddenly he was there, one arm around her neck, in his other hand was her wrist, Abby hadn't felt pain initially as the attack itself was so shocking. In one moment, she was at the sink and in the next, he forced her over the sink and raped her.

  
It led to months of physical therapy for her shoulder, blood work to be sure that she had no STD's, questioning by two police officers and embarrassing photographs. However, as time went on, she thought of the attack less and less, no longer was she afraid of the memory of him. Jake had shown her what it was like to be held correctly. At one-point Abby had been told that she might always have an issue with sex, she had been relieved that she never had an aversion to being with a man, more often than not it was her that had come on to Jake when they had sex. At some point, she realized she just wasn't afraid anymore.

  
After the rape, it turned out that the doctors didn't believe that it would ever be possible for her to have children. It had broken her heart to hear it. When Jake had first asked her out back in California, she was shy. Yet, he was kind and charming. So many of the girls had practically thrown themselves at the tall, fit, blue-eyed young man and yet, he had only had eyes for the brown-eyed beauty. So, after she was urged by her friend Charmaine, Abby had relented and gone out with him.

  
Had it been love at first sight? No, it hadn't. Yet, Jake Griffin was kind and loving. He didn't even reach out to take her hand until late into the second date. It was the fourth date when Jake had finally kissed her. A month into dating when Jake spoke of wanting to be a father, she told him that she might never be able to have children, the news had clearly stunned him and yet, just months later he got down on one knee and begged for her hand in marriage. Abby had agreed, a man as kind as Jake deserved to have happiness.

  
Then as things often do in relationships, they had begun to have little problems here and there. The pipes and ate the money they had been saving and killed their chance to head back to California to celebrate Christmas with their families. Things got better as more work for Jake came in and Abby was hired at the hospital. However, their schedules were different with Abby working nights and Jake working during the day.   
They agreed to have three days together, they would head away for the weekend and spend their time at a cabin just next to the lake. It was then that Clarke had been conceived. Jake had been overjoyed and well, Abby had been afraid. At first, she had been told that a pregnancy would be unlikely and upon hearing the news that a tiny baby was growing within her made her afraid of all the things that could go wrong. Abby found herself in fear that she would have a miscarriage.

  
When Abby met Callie, long before they had both found out they were pregnant, they had become fast friends. It was the beautiful woman with the long black hair that Abby had first met, they had been in the market, both purchasing avocados when the two began talking. When they both realized they had walked to the market, they began walking in the same direction only to realize that they were neighbors.

  
It had been another three weeks before Abby met Marcus, she had heard the name of course and yet, had never laid eyes on him. It had turned out that Abby owned every one of his books and for a long time had been a fan since those California days. Yet, she hadn't realized that Callie's husband was the same Marcus that Abby had been a fan of.   
The first time she laid eyes on him was during the spring, Abby had been out in her yard taking care of the flowers that she hadn't particularly love but, Jake had wanted, she had heard Marcus before she ever laid eyes on him, he was singing and Abby looked up to see a man coming down the street in black sweats and white t-shirt with ‘Oklahoma State' written on the front.

  
She couldn't take her eyes off of him, he was tall or maybe just seem so tall because she had always been on the short side. His hips moved back and forth in a way that made her eyes linger over him, the man ran with sure steps as he moved across the sidewalk, his hair curled at the nape of his neck, droplets of sweat clung to him. Without thinking, she stood up and watched as he came directly in front of her house, her eyes glued to his frame.   
Then he turned and his eyes met hers, he slowed to a walk and then his body turned towards her. A smiled crossed his lips, she watched as his tongue darted out so quickly that she would have missed it had he blinked and he licked his lips. Neither said a word, they simply stared at one another. It was he that stepped forward, onto the small walkway to where she was standing.

  
His eyes bore into hers with unsaid things that she was sure that she was able to hear, things that years later would think about as chills broke out across her body as his mind whispered to hers, ‘I want you.' Over and over she would think about it and then she would remember the moment when reality struck and realize that they would never fulfill that longing and perhaps, it was only a moment of want that would only last through that initial meeting – deep down they both knew that they were wrong.

  
"You must be Abby."

  
His voice was smooth and suddenly Abby imagined his whispering into her neck and yet, she had no idea who he was. Abby felt the confusion over a few different things shoot through her, how in the world had this unbearably good-looking man know her name. Timidly she put her hand out to meet his between their bodies. His hand was rough as if he had worked every single day with nothing except for those hands that she pictured running over her breasts.

  
"Yes, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, should I know who you are?"

  
The man across from her smiled so big that the lines around his eyes crinkled and she found herself wanting to rub the pad of her thumb over them. When he laughed, it was a smooth chuckle, the kind that she could listen to all day.

  
"I'm Marcus Kane."

  
If Abby had ever told anyone this story, she would have to admit that her heart fell at that moment. This wasn't just a man that set her entire body on fire with nothing more than a look, he was the husband of Callie, a woman who loved the man standing in front of Abby.   
She was sure she had misread his look, the one that ran over her body before looking her squarely in the eye without a bit of shame. Perhaps, he wasn't looking at her the way Abby first thought and that for reasons she couldn't quite understand made her feel extremely disappointed. Surely, he had to feel the heat radiating between them where they were connected by their hands.

  
Over the next few years the four of them spent a lot of time together, barbecues at each other's homes, going out on the lake together in Marcus' boat, going motorcycle riding after Marcus' had talked Jake into getting a Harley. Jake looked good on a bike, that much had been true and yet, when Marcus had walked out of his garage in black boots, dark blue jeans and a black leather jacket, Abby's mouth had begun to water.

  
The problem was that whatever the connection she felt to Marcus Kane, he had seemed to have been feeling it right back and it felt so purely sexual. Once in a while, she would be laughing or telling a story and he would catch her eye, it was that look that he had in them as if he was picturing her in a completely different setting where no one else but the two of them was there.

  
The looks turned into small touches, his hand on her hip, his knuckles brushing hers, their legs touching beneath the table as they sat in a restaurant. Abby wondered if he was feeling the heat as much as she and yet, never would she say a word – Callie absolutely loved the man that she called husband and the truth was Marcus loved Callie too. Then there was Jake whom Abby loved to the core of her soul and yet, had never once had the aching need that she felt for the man across the street.   
Then Callie died, in an instant, the chance meeting in the supermarket that turned into two women becoming best friends had been ripped away. It was a shock, not only had the man she longed for lost his wife, he lost their child. Abby suddenly kept her eyes off of him. It was as if Callie and then the baby had kept both Abby and Marcus from crossing a line.

  
Abby, of course, had still been pregnant, she would walk by the nursery that Clarke would soon be in and what she would see would break her heart. From Abby's upstairs bedroom she could see Marcus standing in the nursery that had been meant for his own child. His hands would be on the rail of the crib, staring inside where a baby would never sleep, he would be crying so hard that she could see his entire body shaking. Every time she had wanted to run to him, to let him sob in her arms and yet, she was afraid that the baby growing within her would crush him as he thought about the things that weren't his.

  
Clarke came during the cold months and to Marcus' credit, he did leave a gift for them although it took him weeks to meet the tiny baby girl. He had held her, running one large hand over the peach fuzz on top of Clarke's head.

  
"She looks like Jake don't you think, Marcus?"

  
He had shaken his head softly, "I think she has more of you than you think, Abby."

  
Abby had then watched as he lowered his head and kissed her daughter.

  
Then the next big blow had been Jake, to find out that he was sick and that he wasn't going to make it. There was no cure, no hope, no future. It hurt her in a way that she hadn't know was possible. Abby had lived a whole life before Jake came along and to find out that he wasn't going to be by her side in a few months tore at something within her.

  
Then just like that Jake was gone, Marcus was a pallbearer. He provided a lot of help in the first few weeks after Jake's death and then slowly he had begun to disappear. Abby hadn't been sure why and still it broke her. It felt like going through yet another loss. It was at Clarke's urging that Marcus took timid steps back into their lives.

  
That particular day, not long before Christmas, she had spent the morning with Clarke out sledding, Abby actually had fun and for a moment forgot that it would just be her and her daughter on Christmas if Marcus didn't accept the invite. Abby made lunch for both her and Clarke, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. They put on, "A Christmas Story' and watched as Ralphie went up to meet Santa. Clarke always watched in amazement at that part, Abby found herself watching her daughter more than the movie.

  
As nighttime fell, she put Clarke into a nice warm bath before going to retrieve pajamas for her, a pair of red pajamas with the Grinch all over them, Clarke had loved them the moment that she saw them in the store and Abby couldn't find the words to refuse.   
Abby looked out the window and saw as Marcus stepped out of his house and headed down the walkway as he shoved his hands into his pockets. Even now she lost her breath sometimes when she saw him. His hair had grown longer, that curl that she had always found herself staring at was falling across his forehead and he now had stubble along his jaw, that alone was a reason to stare at him. She had to force herself away and head back to her daughter who was talking non-stop about having a little brother or sister, the sadness hit Abby again and this time like always, she tried to force it away.

  
Clarke had requested that her mother read ‘The Polar Express' before bedtime and so Abby did just that while changing her voice for each character, Clarke giggled. Just as Abby had kissed her daughter goodnight, Abby heard her cell phone ring just down the hall and went to retrieve it. Marcus' name flashed across the screen.

  
"Marcus?"

  
"Abby, I'm glad you answered….." The sound of a baby's cry stopped him from talking. "I need you, can you come over?"

  
She didn't bother to ask the burning questions and instead told him that she would be over in the next few moments. Quickly she helped Clarke into her snow boots and a heavy jacket. Abby was still pulling on hers when they walked out the door and headed across the street.

  
There was Marcus with a baby in his arms, a bottle in her mouth as he looked over at Abby helplessly.

  
"This is Octavia, my daughter." He sounded confused even as he said the words.

  
"A babbbbbyyyyyyy." Clarke said it as she looked up at Marcus completely bewildered.

  
"Aurora?"

  
Marcus nodded in response to Abby's question.

  
"The baby was on my porch when I got home. Can you help me? I don't have anything for her, I donated everything to goodwill when my family died."

  
Abby walked up slowly and peeked into the blanket where a sweet little face was looking up at Marcus. "She is beautiful, Marcus."

  
He nodded, "That she is."

  
Marcus shook his head, "I didn't even know that she was pregnant. I don't have diapers or clothes. I'm at a loss of what to do."

  
Abby laid one hand on his arm and the other beneath Octavia, "I'm here, I'll help you, you aren't alone in this, Marcus."

  
Clarke was on his side staring up at him and Octavia, Marcus was staring back into Abby's eyes. Then in a moment that touched her heart, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, Abby."

To be continued……


	3. Domestic Moments

Abby walked up slowly and peeked into the blanket where a sweet little face was looking up at Marcus. "She is beautiful, Marcus."

He nodded, "That she is."

Marcus shook his head, "I didn't even know that she was pregnant. I don't have diapers or clothes. I'm at a loss of what to do."

Abby laid one hand on his arm and the other beneath Octavia, "I'm here, I'll help you, you aren't alone in this, Marcus."

Clarke was on his side staring up at him and Octavia, Marcus was staring back into Abby's eyes. Then in a moment that touched her heart, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, Abby." She felt as the words moved through her hair by the touch of his breath, Abby smiled before pulling away.

  
"It is getting late; do you want me to run and get a car seat and a few things for tonight?"

  
Marcus stared at Abby as she mentally seems to be making a list of the things that he would need for the small girl he knew nothing about an hour ago.

  
"No, Abby, no." She looked over at him quickly as he said the words.

  
"I don't mind."

  
He stepped forward, Clarke taking the few steps with him so that she could keep her eyes on the baby. Abby took in the scene and would have been moved by it had she not wondered why Marcus seemed to not want her help. He was cradling Octavia within his arms as his eyes stared into Abby's. "I don't want you going out when the roads are icy…" She could tell by the look in his eyes that he meant it. "No, Abby, I much rather you be here with the girls and I'll go out and get a few things. Can you keep an eye on Octavia?"

  
Abby nodded slowly as she stared at him. "Yes, I'll stay here. Let me write down a few things that you will need. If you leave quickly the Target will be open for another two hours, that will give you enough time to get over there in this weather."

  
Marcus watched her as she wrote several things down while she mumbled to herself, looking off in the distance from time to time as she let her mind run over baby items. "I thought you said we only needed a few items to get us through a night."

  
A small blush crept up in her cheeks as a smile spread across her lips, he watched as a sparkle lit up her eyes – damn, she was breathtaking. "I was thinking about the impending storm and I wouldn't want you or your daughter caught up in it."

  
They stared at each other for several long moments before he carefully placed Octavia into Abby's arms and then he caught himself staring at her as she held his daughter. The woman across from him was staring down at Octavia as she stared right back at Abby, his chest felt warm as he reached just past Abby and picked up the list of items.

  
Clarke was looking through the basket that Octavia had arrived in, with her blue eyes full of confusion she looked up at Marcus and her mother as they walked out of the kitchen. "Momma, do you still have the basket I came in?"

  
Marcus smiled over at Abby as she let out a laugh, "No, darling, you came home in a little pink blanket."

  
"Then how come her…."

  
"She, not her, honey."

  
"Ok, how come she came in a basket?"

  
Abby looked at Marcus who was staring at her with a raised eyebrow before looking back at her daughter.

  
"Honey, babies show up in our lives in all kinds of ways. Marcus just happened to meet his daughter for the first time tonight."

  
Clarke turned her attention on to the man who was slipping on a black sweatshirt and beanie. Abby watched, enjoying the way that stubble on his chin had a way of standing out a bit more when he put on clothes to keep himself warm. "My momma orders stuff from Amazon sometimes too." Marcus let out a chuckle that seemed lighthearted despite the fact that his world had just been turned upside down. He kneeled down in front of Clarke and laid one strong hand on her shoulder, "I can promise you that I did not order Octavia off of Amazon."

  
Clarke shook her head as if he couldn't possibly be telling the truth as she turned and walked over to where Abby sat on the couch, Clarke gazed down at the little girl who seemed smaller than most dolls that she had seen. Marcus walked over and once again knelt down beside Clarke as he too looked down at Octavia whose eyes seemed to be drifting closed.

  
"I like her, Marcus."

  
"I think I like her too, Clarke."

  
She smiled up at the man next to her and reached out and touched the stubble on his chin. "I'm going to be Octavia's bestest friend."

  
He smiled before leaning forward and kissing her head. "I can't think of a better friend for her to have." That made Clarke blush as hid her face from Marcus and placed it on her mamas' knee.

He smiled at Abby before leaning forward and touching the top on his daughter's small head, his thumb gently grazing her forehead before leaning down and kissing Octavia's cheek. "I'll be back", he whispered to her.

  
"I will try not to be too long, call me if you need anything. Thank you, Abby."

  
"Drive safe, Marcus."

  
She followed him to the door and locked it behind him as he walked out to the truck.

Marcus found himself in the baby aisle at Target, he wasn't the only one walking around as if he didn't have a clue. There was another gentleman shopping for a winter jacket for his small son, a woman who stood in electronics asking about what kind of video game a fourteen-year-old boy would enjoy and then there was Marcus staring at baby shampoos. Octavia hardly had any hair, so what on earth did she need shampoo for?

  
He clutched the list of baby items in his hands as if it was the Holy Grail, in the basket he had a pink and tan car seat. He wasn't sure if the colors would matter to Octavia and yet, he chose it anyway. There was a small chair that promised to lull a baby to sleep, he grabbed a camera with a microphone that was meant to be in a nursery that came with two walkie-talkie type items with a small screen so that the baby could be seen. There was a small travel pack in play playpen, he chose that in neutral colors.

  
The cart had rattles, diapers – the newborn ones that Abby promised him would be perfect for her, there were wipes and about a dozen bottles and a thing of formula. He walked through the clothing aisle for Octavia and couldn't for a second imagine himself ever that small. He picked up a few onesies and then a bottle of Dreft that assured him that it would be fine for his daughter's sensitive skin.

  
Five hundred dollars later, he left with all this stuff meant for a baby and headed home. He picked up dinner on the way for Abby, Clarke and himself. He found himself relieved when he pulled back up in his driveway two hours after he had left. Abby watched as he walked in with an armful of items in one hand and a bag of food in the other.

  
"Marcus, did you buy out the store?" She moved to him and took a couple of bags from him before he headed into the empty at the front of the house, the one that had initially been meant for the child that had been lost. "I just thought that she would need a bit more." Abby didn't say anything as he sat stuff in the middle of the room. That same sadness that she had witnessed more than once looked as if it had taken him over once again.

  
"I also got this playpen type thing that I'm sure will come in handy, she can at least sleep in it for now." Suddenly he turned and faced Abby, heading towards her as his eyes darted around. "Where is she? Where is Octavia? Did Aurora……."

  
He felt the warmth on his arm where Abby firmly held her hand tight around his forearm.

  
"Marcus?"

  
His eyes full of fear looked at her, she shook her head. "I never would have let Aurora take her, she is fine. I rocked her to sleep, she is in the basket, safe and warm." He gave the impression that the weight of his fear was being lifted from his shoulders. Marcus looked away, as if he was ashamed, his eyes staring at the place between his feet.

  
Abby stepped up to him and leaned her cheek against his arm as she whispered softly, gently to him. "Octavia ate again, she got fussy and a became a bit hangry, I think she gets that from you. I fed her while Clarke sang to her, I changed her and then put her in that extra sleeping outfit with those little booties. I rocked her and she fell asleep peacefully. I only laid her down about twenty minutes ago."

  
"Thank you for taking care of her, Abby." He put his arms around her before Abby could even comprehend that he had moved.

  
"I'm not going to leave you through all of this. I'll be here until you don't need me anymore."

  
Marcus nodded against her. "You must be hungry, Abby. I picked up some dinner. Where's Clarke, won't she be wanting to eat?  
He backed away from her as his eyes watched hers.

  
"Clarke is sleeping, she is on your couch, I started a fire to keep them warm. It is chilly in here."

  
Something flashed in his eyes as he moved out the door and down the hall towards the kitchen, "I don't always turn on the heat since it is only me. Let me turn it on. Will you eat with me, Abby?"

  
"Yes."

  
They ate meatball subs at his kitchen table. Although Abby wouldn't bring it up to him right then, Marcus appeared lighter than he had in months. They laughed and then turned serious. Marcus had been watching her as her eyes looked as if they were pondering something as her fingers picked at the bread of her food.

  
"What is it, Abby?"

  
"I think you should take Octavia in to have a health exam, she should be under the care of a pediatrician. Not only is it important for her, but it will also be important for you seeing that Aurora could come back at any time."

  
He nodded slowly, "Do you think she would come back, I mean, she left a baby on the porch at night in nearly freezing weather?"

  
Her eyes looked sad as she met his hopeful ones, "I was a doctor for a long time and I saw my fair share of heartbreak when it came to children and the homes, they lived in. So, do whatever you can to set yourself up as the stable parent."

  
"I woke up this morning and felt like I had nothing, then tonight I come home and there is a baby, my baby, my daughter on the porch. Just like that, in a moment, my life changed. I know that I will fight for her."

  
Abby could see in his eyes that he was already falling for the little girl who was sleeping in a basket.

  
"I'm proud of you, Marcus. I think we need to put that playpen together and I'll put those tiny baby clothes in the wash before we get started."

Abby made herself at home in his house as she helped out with the items in the nursery, there wasn't much regardless of how much money he had spent.

  
"Marcus?"

  
"Hm?"

  
He was setting up the playpen in his own bedroom, Abby helped him clear a spot only a few steps from his bed, taking the time to vacuum and dust-off pictures that had been on the walls for some time. It was like Abby was the one nesting and it wasn't even her child. She had known certain things about the house from years before when Callie had been alive. So, before she knew what she was doing, she was changing the sheets and comforter. Marcus hadn't stopped her, he was just grateful to have someone to talk to.  
"I was wondering if you wanted me to go with you when the weather clears to help you pick out a few more things for her."

He noticed that Abby appeared a bit unsure as she asked the question. He turned to look at her, Abby's back was to him as she pulled a sheet over the corner. Marcus could see she was struggling with it and suddenly was next to her, pulling it as he stood close. It was only once that the sheet was completely on that he gently pulled her arm so that she was looking at him.

  
"Abby, I told you that I wanted your help. Yes, I want you to come with me, I'd also like you to come with me when I take her to see a pediatrician."

  
"Ok, I just don't want to overstep."

  
He grinned widely, "Yes, because changing my sheets isn't overstepping." He raised an eyebrow at Abby and she laughed. She nudged his body with hers. "Then I will be going with you, Marcus, Get ready to have your own personal sidekick."

  
"I look forward to it, Abby. I've always wanted a sidekick, you're a bit shorter than I imagined but, I think I can work past that."

  
"Shut up, Marcus."

  
He laughed as they walked to the laundry room and put Octavia clothes into the dryer.

Octavia began to cry a few minutes later, Marcus carefully picked her up and began speaking to her softly as he picked up a diaper and the wipes.

  
"Marcus, why don't you get her out of that diaper and I can show you how to give her a bath."

  
He nodded without responding and laid Octavia on a towel next to the basket and cleaned her up, threw the diaper away and then headed into the kitchen. Abby had a washcloth and a small cup along with the baby shampoo all ready to go. Marcus felt truly thankful for her.

  
"So, feel the water, Marcus, you won't want it much warmer than that." He nodded as he ran his hand beneath the warmth and then smiled at Abby, "Got it."

  
Marcus had one hand beneath Octavia's head as Abby gave him some tips on how to wash her. It was endearing the way he looked so nervous as his daughter stretched, she was hardly any larger than his hand.

  
"She is going to be a water lover, Marcus."

  
"How can you tell?"

  
"The same way that I knew Clarke would be one too, they seem at peace within the water."

  
Abby poured a bit of the lavender baby shampoo into the hand of Marcus and watched as he gently washed his daughter's hair for the first time. With the shampoo on her head, Abby gave the washcloth to Marcus. They both spoke softly to the little girl as the water washed over her tiny body.

  
Marcus put a fresh diaper on Octavia while Abby pulled a clean Christmas red sleeper out of the dryer. Once she was dressed, Marcus fed his daughter while sitting in the rocking chair. Abby busied herself by putting more wood on the fire so that Marcus and Octavia would be warm.

  
"You don't have to do that, Abby."

  
"Yes, I do. If I'm going to be part of this, then you are just going to have to let me do what I want to do."

  
"Well, I guess that I've been told."

  
"Yes, you have."

  
"I'll call tomorrow to make an appointment for her."

  
"Yes, as soon as possible, just let me know when."

  
He nodded as he looked from Octavia's sweet baby face before looking up at Abby. There were moments like this when his dark eyes were on her that she was sure that there was so much more than he wanted to say to her. There was a part of Abby that felt like she could stay pinned at this moment in time for no other reason than to stare back at him. Then suddenly she nodded, "I should go and get out of your hair. Did you need anything before I go, Marcus?"

  
Marcus stood as he placed Octavia on his shoulder, Abby quickly came over and put the burp cloth on his shoulder. "I don't know how to burp her, this thing with putting her on my shoulder is all I know."

Abby moved so that she was standing next to them and placed her hand on Octavia's back.

  
"Put your hand over mine." Abby had already placed her hand on the baby's small back. Marcus' large hand covered hers, both of them feeling the warmth and connection of things they began ignoring years before.

  
"You want to be sure to keep a steady pace, not too hard and not too soft." Abby immediately realized how the words came off and purposely avoided his eyes even when she could feel his eyes on her, it was a strange time to feel the kind of heat that was coursing through her

  
"Ok, now you go ahead and take over, Marcus."

  
She watched as his hand continued the rhythm on Octavia's small back, his eyes were on Abby's, they were full of something that Abby was sure that had died years ago. He watched as the woman leaning against the door jamb gave him a small smile, he wanted to ask about what that meant, needed to know several different things and then again, he knew it wasn't the time.

  
Abby stayed until Marcus placed Octavia in the playpen, she stirred only briefly before her daddy patted her on the back until she stilled and fell back asleep. Marcus turned to Abby and smiled. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather stay here? Clarke is sleeping, I could take the office and you can take the bed, the sheets are clean, I had the new maid change them just a bit ago."

  
Abby let out a small laugh before playfully hitting his arm, "I heard she's quitting, says the boss is a micromanager."

  
His eyes lit up as the lines around his eyes became prominent in the sexiest of ways. "Go to sleep, Marcus."

  
"Get in my bed, Abby and go to sleep."

  
She shook her head at him. "I wasn't sure how you were going to finish that sentence."

  
They stared at each other for several long moments before Abby declined the offer and headed home with Clarke asleep in her arms.

To be continued…..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be sure to leave feedback. Thank you and Merry Christmas.


	4. Pediatrician

Abby pulled some strings at the hospital she once worked at in Stuttgart, the city next to Clarendon, and was able to get Octavia an appointment. Abby had Marcus' daughter wrapped in one of the softest blankets that Abby had ever felt, her eyes were closed as her lips puckered as if she was eating from an invisible bottle.   
Clarke who had been talking a mile a minute since they had got into Marcus' truck an hour before had finally begun to tucker out, without asking, she simply looked up at Octavia's daddy and stretched out her arms, he picked her up and immediately and nearly immediately her head was on his shoulder with her arms around his neck.   
Her little face looked peaceful with her head turned towards his neck, Abby looked at her daughter and smiled. Marcus had his eyebrows arched as he lightly shrugged, "I guess she likes me." Abby cocked her head as her eyes lifted to his, "Is there anyone who doesn't like you, Marcus?" As soon as the words popped out of her mouth, she realized how it sounded, the heat immediately spread through her face. 

Even as she looked down at Octavia's peacefully sleeping face, she knew that his eyes were on her. "Stop staring at me, Marcus." He let out a soft chuckle, "My staring at you never bothered you before." There were some things that Marcus and Abby had never discussed and their lingering attraction was one of those things. She opened her mouth to respond when the door opened and a nurse spoke, "Octavia Kane." 

Abby stood up with Octavia while Marcus pushed the stroller that held the diaper bag, Clarke's backpack of activities and Abby's purse. Clarke was asleep on his shoulder, he really was a sight to be seen and only he was unaware of the longing eyes in the waiting room where mothers sat eyeing him. 

The nurse was a sweet if not sarcastic young woman who Abby had known during her time of working at the hospital, Raven Reyes. "Abby, if you can lay your new baby on the scale". Abby didn't take the time to correct her and neither had Marcus, it felt as if it would make everything awkward and so instead, they stayed silent as Abby removed the blanket and lay Octavia down on the scale. "Eight pounds, she is so small." That was all Raven said as she smiled at Abby, "She must have been a preemie, when is her birthday, Dr. Griffin?"

Abby looked back at Marcus as Raven measured the baby, he looked at her as if he was unsure about what to say while giving a small shake of his head. She could see as his eyes grew dark, the skin of his forehead appeared to crinkle, his eyebrows dipped down as he struggled with whatever decision he was about to make. Slowly he walked over to the nurse, one of his arms was beneath Clarke's bottom, his free hand was on her back as he mindlessly moved his thumb across her back. When he spoke to the nurse, he kept his voice low and steady. "I'm Octavia's father, her mother left her on my porch less than a week ago. I don't know her birthdate." 

Raven's sad dark eyes looked up at the man before her, she took in the sight of Marcus with one little girl in his arms and the other being wrapped back in a blanket by a woman who was not her mother. "I'm sorry to hear that, I've never known mothers to leave, I've only really known about fathers leaving." She nodded up at Marcus as if she suddenly appeared to like him whereas before she hadn't even paid him any attention, "I'm glad that your daughter has you, Abby and Clarke." 

"Thank you." He looked as if he had been moved by the truth of her compliment. 

Marcus moved over to Abby and looked down at Octavia who was once again tucked safely in the crook of Abby's arms. He looked down at his daughter's face, the perfect color of her skin, the dark hair on top of her tiny head, Octavia's eyes were looking up at Abby and then slowly looked at Marcus as if she knew there would always be a connection between them. With his free hand, he gently pulled down the blanket so that he could see her little chin as well.   
She hadn't meant to reach out and lay her hand upon his back and yet, once she did it, Abby kept her hand there as she looked up into his face. "Are you alright, Marcus?" His dark eyes moved to hers before he cast his gaze back onto the baby. "I just can't help but wonder about what will happen if she comes back for her….." 

He was cut off when the nurse said that the doctor would be right with them. Abby nodded at Raven before turning her attention back to Marcus, "You were saying?". Another shrug from him, "What if she fights for Octavia?" His eyes slowly moved back to Abby, "What would I do then, Abby? It has been less than a week and already I know that I would do anything for her." He said the words as if Abby was somehow holding on to the perfect answer.

Marcus watched as Abby shook her head. "I don't know what to say, other than just keep doing every good thing for this little baby, Marcus. You are a daddy now and she is already clearly connected to you. The kind of relationship that you will have with her will be unique and special. You just concentrate on every moment that you get to spend with her. If she ever comes back, you fight with everything you are. I can promise you one thing though." 

His sad eyes were searching for Abby's. Marcus watched as her lips moved into a smile that met her eyes, damn, she was just so beautiful, even now when fear seemed to wrap itself around him. Abby's eyes looked upon Octavia before looking back into his intense brown eyes, "I'll be right there fighting with you." 

"Thank you, Abby." She would have been lying if she had said that heat hadn't filled her when his eyes drifted towards her lips where they stayed for a long moment before looking back into her eyes. Without thinking she licked her lips, immediately his eyes darted back to her lips again as his chest rose and fell. 

The knock at the door forced his eyes away from hers, Abby for the first time thought the doctor had come in far too early. 

"Dr. Griffin, I was happy to speak to you the other day. How are you?" Diyoza came forward and hugged Abby carefully being sure not to put pressure on the little baby. 

"Charmaine, how are you?" 

The other woman smiled, "I can't complain. Work is good and I'm all ready for Christmas tomorrow. So, who do we have here?" 

"This is Octavia, Marcus' daughter." 

"I was referring to Marcus, well, now I know your name. I'm Charmaine Diyoza." 

He gave a slight smile, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for seeing Octavia so quickly."

"It is my pleasure. Abby, will you put Octavia on the table please."

Abby placed Octavia down on the medical table gently, unwrapping the blanket, Octavia protested by pushing out her tiny leg and letting out a tiny cry. Abby immediately wanted to pick her back up, instead, she spoke gently to the baby that she had already come to love.   
"Shh, you're ok, I'll be right here." 

Marcus stood just behind Abby and watched as she carefully undressed Octavia out of her tiny white onesie with ‘Santa's Elf' written across the chest in pink writing. His daughter was mad and he couldn't help but smile, "Yep, I think she is most definitely my girl." 

Abby laughed, "Why you don't like having your clothes taken off either?" 

She heard his intake of breath behind her and Abby felt the blush sweep across her cheeks. They heard the doctor let out a laugh across the room, it appeared as if she was trying to stifle it. Marcus didn't bother to look at the doctor and instead leaned forward until his mouth was near Abby's ear, "I wouldn't mind my clothes being pulled from my body." He whispered the words so that they were only heard by her. His breath swept across the skin of her neck before the chills moved over her entire body. 

Her eyes glanced back at him, they stared at each other for a long moment, it was the doctor coming to the medical table that made them cease their stare at one another. Marcus and Abby both stayed near the table as Dr. Diyoza checked her as she spoke softly to her tiny patient. Octavia looked up at the doctor with her little blue eyes. Abby was sure if she looked over at Marcus that his eyes would be locked on her and damn her for being so turned on and fearful all at the same time. 

It was only a few minutes later when the doctor was finished. Abby dressed Octavia back into her onesie and wrapped her back in the fluffy pink blanket. "There you go, sweet girl." She said it just before kissing the top of her head. Marcus reached in for a bottle that he knew his daughter would be needing soon. 

"You are very good with her, Abby." Diyoza said it before turning her attention onto Marcus, "Would you like a paternity test for you and Octavia?" He looked confused for a moment before he spoke softly, "Aurora said that she is my daughter."   
Diyoza gave a slow nod before she looked from Marcus to Abby and then back again. "Marcus, I've dealt with a lot of cases of paternity, my advice is that you do this now before you become too attached." He shook his head as if he was trying to wrap his mind around what the pediatrician was saying. 

"Where would she go if she wasn't my daughter? I'll tell you where a place where people don't love her the way Abby and I do. We are taking care of her and we will remain her family regardless." Abby immediately took her place beside Marcus, when she spoke, she did it softly. Her arm against his in a silent form of support. 

"Marcus, all she is saying is that it would protect both you and Octavia. If Aurora comes back and tries to take you to court, you would have to do paternity at that time. This way, it will already be done." He looked at Abby, she could clearly see that pain stirring up within his eyes. 

"I'll do it." He said it as if he was resigning himself to the heartbreak that might follow. Dr. Diyoza gave him a sad smile. I'm going to send you and Octavia down to the lab and we should have the results before New Years Day." 

"I thought these kinds of test only took a couple of days." Marcus suddenly wanted Octavia in his arms where he could keep her safe. Abby could send his nervousness. "Do you want me to take Clarke?" He shook his head, denying her offer as the doctor began to speak. 

"Normally paternity tests only take a couple of days, however, we are looking at the holidays so it may take a bit longer." He gave a nod. "Ok, well, we will head down to the lab then. Thank you again for seeing us. Oh, how do I go about getting a birth certificate?" 

"It is a simple matter of finding out if the birth mother listed you on the birth certificate or not. I don't think it will be too terribly hard for you to have one since the child is in your care. Did you already file for guardianship?"

"Why would I need to do that if she is my daughter? Aurora's not said that her name is Octavia Marie Kane, she must be my child." 

Diyoza gave a small tense smile towards Abby giving her friend silent instructions. 

The lab wasn't too crowded as they sat down. Abby carefully placed Octavia in her stroller before nudging Marcus letting him know to hand Clarke to her. He stood up carefully with Clarke as he wondered how she could possibly stay asleep in the midst of all the activity and yet, she snored away softly.   
He placed her in Abby's arm, her chin resting against her mother's breast before popping a thumb into her mouth. Marcus looked into Abby's eyes before he leaned back down, placing his hands on the wooden armrests on either side of her. Abby wasn't sure what she expected him to do and instead of searching his motives, she just waited.   
Marcus leaned forward until their foreheads were touching, Abby reached up with one hand and rested her hand on the side of the neck. "I could never get through this without you." He sounded choked up as he said it. "I love her too, Marcus." He gave a slight nod as their foreheads stayed together. "I know your love is not something you would easily give away." 

"Marcus and Octavia Kane." 

He didn't move away from Abby, not immediately anyhow. After a long moment, he backed up only enough to look into her eyes. Once again, he looked at her lips sending that same heat through. Marcus leaned forward once again and pressed his lips to her forehead while one hand rested at the back of Abby's head.   
They parted and stared at one another before he turned and picked up Octavia and headed towards the lab.

Marcus felt his heart race as they used the tiniest blood vial he had ever seen and took blood from his little girls' arm, he felt as everything in him seemed to rip apart as tears sprung to her little eyes and her pained cry filled the air. Marcus looked back at Abby who was sitting just outside the door, she was looking at them through the glass.   
Abby could see that he was pained for Octavia. Clarke squirmed and immediately wanted to run to the little girl that she already loved so much. "Clarke, can you push the stroller closer to the glass please and stand right next to it?" Her little eyes still looked so tired and yet, she listened to her mother's request. 

They moved closer both clearly anxious to get to Marcus and Octavia. The technician helped Marcus to roll up his sleeve as he refused to let go of a still whimpering baby. Once again, he returned his gaze to Abby, his eyes pleading.   
Without being asked verbally, Abby moved forward Clarke was right behind her. Marcus pulled his arm away from the technician, he kissed Octavia and whispered to her, "I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so sorry." Then he handed the squirming and confused girl to Abby, his eyes looking up at the woman beside him. She could see the tears in his eyes.   
"She's so upset." Abby cradled Marcus' daughter in one arm while she reached out with her free hand and gently touched his face, her thumb stroked gently and wiped away a stray tear. "I got her, she will be ok." Abby allowed her hand to move away the curl that was on her forehead. "Abby?" Her response was a slight nod. "I hate needles."   
A smirk spread across her face, "like father, like daughter." He shook his head, "That doesn't help right now, Abby." She smiled before lifting Octavia up to her shoulder and patting her back. Clarke and Abby moved just outside the lab with the baby while they waited for Marcus to be done. He emerged a couple of minutes later with a bandage across the crook of his arm. 

It was later that day when Abby changed Octavia and put her in fresh clothes and then put her in the crib that Marcus had just finished setting up a couple of hours before. Abby had laughed when she saw him walk out of the room. "It took you a long time to finish that." He grinned widely before he nodded his head in the direction of Clarke, "Well, I had some help." She laughed again and Marcus was sure it was a nearly perfect sound. "I can see that, Marcus." 

She was standing at the crib, setting up the mobile to play music that would help the baby to fall asleep. Abby hadn't been aware that Marcus was leaning again the door jamb, she only became aware of it when he spoke, "I think you might be more tired that she is, Abby." He watched as she gave him a tired smile. "Babies are a lot of work." He arched his eyebrows as he gave a slow nod, "Well, I've been learning that." 

He stepped towards her, "Why don't you lay down for a while?" 

"I think you should be the one to lay down, you're exhausted." 

"Yes, I am. I'll feed Clarke, put on a movie for her and then help her make something for you. After that, I promise to lay down." 

Even as he looked at her, he could see just how tired she was. Marcus found himself stepping towards her, he put his hands on the outside of her arms and rubbed up and down as if she was cold. "Will you get some rest?" She wanted to step into his arms and rest her cheek against his chest, to feel the warmth of his body and he enveloped her. Abby wondered what would happen if she did. 

"Go rest." Then he removed his hands. 

Marcus fed Clarke macaroni and cheese, an old recipe his mother had taught him, he stood outside the bathroom as she changed into pajamas and then sat with her on the couch until she fell asleep. Octavia woke up only moments later. He picked her up and spoke to her, sometimes singing to her as she gazed up at him. He sat with her as he gave her a bottle, the whole time telling her about Christmas and how he had loved the way his mother would always make him hot cocoa when he was little and how now he couldn't wait to give Octavia her first cup of it. 

Marcus burped and changed his daughters' diaper and then laid her back in the crib. He watched as her eyelids drifted closed, he loved her so much. Marcus whispered to Octavia, "I love you, I'm glad you're here in this house with me." With that, he turned off the main light and turned on her night light that case shapes and soft colors up on the ceiling while it played soft music. 

He went down the hall to get a blanket to take to the office in case Abby got too cold on the couch in there. As he passed his bedroom he came to a stop and stared into his room. Abby was curled up on her side, the blanket wrapped around her. Marcus found himself doing nothing more than watching her, this whole thing, with the four of them creating something he didn't quite understand made him feel more alive than he had felt in the last few years. 

She moved gently in her sleep, her arm reached out and pulled the pillow next to her – Marcus' pillow. He watched and listened as she sighed into it. Then her eyes slowly opened. They stared at one another. Abby hadn't known how long he had been standing there and she didn't bother to ask.

Once again, her body grew warm, the way it had years ago when he first jogged down her street and made his introduction. 

Marcus was unsure of so many things, the one thing he was sure of was that he wanted the woman lying in his bed. 

To be continued…..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be finishing this by Christmas. I will indeed finish it though. Enjoy


	5. Our souls at night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years Eve! If you are reading this after, well, Happy New Year.   
> Thanks for reading! In a year that has been up and down, your comments and kind thoughts on this fanfiction and the others have really helped me. Thanks for being you.   
> Much love, Sunny

Marcus went down the hall to get a blanket to take to the office in case Abby got too cold on the couch in there. As he passed his bedroom he came to a stop and stared into his room. Abby was curled up on her side, the blanket wrapped around her. Marcus found himself doing nothing more than watching her, this whole thing, with the four of them creating something he didn't quite understand made him feel more alive than he had felt in the last few years.

She moved gently in her sleep, her arm reached out and pulled the pillow next to her – Marcus' pillow. He watched and listened as she sighed into it. Then her eyes slowly opened. They stared at one another. Abby hadn't known how long he had been standing there and she didn't bother to ask.  
Once again, her body grew warm, the way it had years ago when he first jogged down her street and made his introduction.

Marcus was unsure of so many things, the one thing he was sure of was that he wanted the woman lying in his bed. They had never certain wants out loud. It was something they knew, a look they saw in the other's eyes would they stared just a bit too long, when he was sure that Abby her hair in the braid because he had once commented that he liked it in the same way that she was sure that his hand would find the small of her back when they walked into a room all those years ago all because Jake never would and Abby had mentioned it on a double date. 

Slowly he put a hand on the door jamb on either side of him while he leaned further into the right-hand side of it, his head almost leaning against it. Abby kept her tired eyes on him as the intensity of his dark eyes lingered on her, waking her up to a million things in one small movement. A curl, the same one that Callie had begged him to cut fell across his forehead. Abby allowed her eyes to rest upon that curl as a fantasy of her hand reaching out to let the hair curl around her finger, a smirk would fall across his lips in knowing that she had wanted to do that for some time. The fantasy moved into the back of her mind, not far from the forefront as her eyes met his again. 

"I was going to bring you a blanket." Something in her belly stirred when she heard the low sound of his voice. 

Marcus wasn't immune to the way her eyes traveled to his hands on either side of him before they met his again, "I don't see you with a blanket, Marcus." 

He gave her a smile, one that seemed almost sad before he spoke, "I was on my way to the linen closet when I saw that you were in here."

Abby felt as a blush crept to her cheeks, a blush that she knew Marcus could see on her. His head shook lightly as one of his hands went up in a way that told her not to move, "You are fine right where you are, you seem like you are right where you belong actually. I was just going to go and get the girls gifts and put them beneath the tree."   
The carpet beneath his feet was where his eyes settled, the sight of her in his bed made him want to go to her, to forget the gifts for now and give in to the comfort that her body could so easily bring to his. He tried to shake the image of her hips in his hands, her voice broke his trance.

"Marcus, I could help you. I was going to head home in order to take a shower anyway, I could just go after."

He shook his head, "No, it is fourteen degrees, Abby. If you want something from home, I'd be happy to go and grab whatever you and Clarke need, would that be alright? You could take a shower here." 

Why wasn't he look at her now, his eyes were still on something either on his shoe or on the floor, Abby couldn't tell for sure, "You don't mind running over there? It is going to be cold, Marcus." 

He nodded and then finally his eyes looked up again, he took her in, the way her hair had fallen across her shoulders and out of the ponytail that she had originally had it in. It took a moment for him to catch his breath. 

"I don't mind as long as you don't mind using my shower." His words were more of a question than a comment and that caused Abby to smile at him. 

"I could use the girls' bathroom." 

This time it was him that let out a slight chuckle, "If you want to take a bath with all of Clarke's bath toys and bathtub Crayola's be my guest, however, I have a clean tub and shower with a waterfall spout, so, I don't want to brag, but it is cool. It has five stars." 

A throaty laugh escaped her, "Who gave it the five stars?" 

Suddenly he shrugged his shoulders as he gave her a mischievous smile, "Me, I gave it five stars." 

"So, you weren't biased at all?" She bit her bottom lip as she stifled a laugh, something that made his chest feel incredibly warm. Marcus couldn't help but smile back at her even as his eyes dragged over her. "I'll have you know that I wasn't the least bit biased when I held the shower contest." 

"Well, I'm sure, Marcus." 

They stared at one another for several long seconds before he glanced at her phone on his nightstand, "Go ahead and just text me with what you need and I'll go ahead and grab whatever you need." 

Marcus walked away without another word, she knew instinctively that he was getting the presents they purchased the day before when they had picked out all of Octavia's new clothing and furniture. They had been able to sneak the presents by Clarke when Marcus distracted her for a few moments. Abby texted out the items needed, including a couple of items for Clarke. 

As Marcus brought out the gifts and placed them beneath the tree that they had put up the day after Octavia had arrived on Marcus' doorstep, Abby filled up all the stockings including the ones the ones the had Marcus and Abby's name written across them. It wasn't as odd as Abby thought it would be when he had first suggested that she and Clarke spent Christmas with him and his daughter. 

When they spoke to one another they whispered, not wanting to wake up Clarke. At one-point Marcus whispered to Abby, his mouth near her ear, his breath once again playing games as they had at the doctor's office. "Thank you for staying here on Christmas Eve, Abby." She smiled at him when he pulled his head back in order to look at her.   
The closeness of him was not lost on her when she looked up into his eyes, her smile was sincere, they both knew it when she spoke, "It is nice not to be alone on Christmas Eve. The last couple of years as you know has been more than hard." 

"I do know, Abby, I know it from my point of view and I know that it has been difficult for you and Clarke." As quickly as he had said the words, he turned from her and then turned back quickly to her. "I'll be right back." He reached out and squeezed her wrist gently before heading to the entryway, she found herself following him and watching as he pulled on his dark jacket and grabbing her house keys from the hook smiling back at her and then heading out into the cold. 

When he had come back with a bag full of items and set it on his bed, Abby stood next to him and began to take out her pajamas. "Thank you for doing this for me, Marcus. I always knew you were a good man and over the last few days, I have seen it even more. "Before I forget, the clothes are in the dryer and I put a new load in."   
There was a warmth that spread across her back and neck when he reached out his hand and lightly squeezed her shoulder, "Thank you, Abby." Then just like that his hand had left her shoulder. 

"You are so tired, Marcus." 

There was a slight red look to his eyes that proved that his body was desperate for sleep. "I am. I'm going to do a couple more things and then I'll head to bed." 

"Promise you won't overdo anything, Marcus, you have to allow your body to rest." 

He gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes, "I promise." 

The shower that belonged to Marcus was in fact beautiful. The walls looked to be grey rock, Abby could recall climbing similar rocks back in California, that alone would have made her smile. The water did indeed come down like rain from the middle of the ceiling, the back of the shower held a detachable shower. On one side was a place to sit and on either side were shelves that could hold shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream, and a razor.   
It was almost odd for Abby to see her pink shaving cream and lavender razor next to Marcus' belongings. This moment felt intimate to share this space where Marcus had stood hundreds of times, Abby found herself opening his shampoo and bringing it to her nose, it held his scent that was so completely intoxicating. 

There were things she knew were wrong and wanting Marcus was wrong. Callie was her friend; her best friend and Jake had been her husband. To touch the man who was hopefully falling asleep in the next room would be to betray both Jake and Callie. Even though she knew that Abby also had to lean her head against the rock and let out a deep breath. It had been so long since she had ached with longing for a man to touch her, the last had been Jake and now there were moments that Abby had been sure that Marcus wanted to let his hand graze hers as much as she needed him to do it. 

When she stepped from the bathroom in a pair of plaid red, white and green pajama pants and a red nightshirt, Marcus wasn't in his room. Abby brushed out her hair that now smelled of his shampoo and conditioner and then put on her face cream. If they had been a couple, she would have perhaps been ready to have him alone and yet, he wasn't hers.   
Octavia let out a soft cry in the other room, Abby immediately went to her, she spied Marcus on the couch, his head was back and his eyes were closed. Instead of going to him, Abby went to the crib and looked into it, Octavia looked up at Abby and smiled.

"Well, hi sweet girl." With Octavia in her arms, she turned only to come to a complete stop.   
Clarke was asleep in Octavia room. A mattress had been set up complete with a pink sheet and matching comforter. Abby smiled as Clarke let out a small laugh as she dreamt of things that Abby didn't know.

It seemed as if Octavia just wanted to be held, the baby wouldn't take her bottle right away. Abby decided to change her diaper and then instead of rocking her in the front room, they went into Marcus' bedroom. Abby sat with Octavia in her arms and coaxed her into taking the bottle. 

"You just don't know what you want to do you, sweetie?" 

Octavia kept her eyes on Abby while one tiny fist played with Abby's finger where it was wrapped around the bottle. "I'll tell you a little secret about Clarke, she used to wake up just like this and I'm still convinced it was only so she could get some alone time with either me or her daddy." 

"I have a slight feeling that you might be a bit of the same way, you are a little fighter aren't you. I have a feeling that you get that from your daddy, he has had to fight through some pretty rough stuff. One day you will know all about that." 

Once the bottle had become empty, Abby put a birth cloth on her shoulder and lifted the baby up. Abby patted her little back as she kept talking. "I wonder about what you will become Octavia, the things you will see and all the things you will do. The selfish part of me wonders if you will ever think of me, the woman who got to be part of your life when you first arrived. If there does come a time when you hear about me and how I was lucky enough to help your daddy through this, I hope you'll know that above all else, that I, just like your daddy fell completely in love with you."

After Octavia let out a couple of burps, Abby placed her in the small crib in Marcus' room. Abby couldn't seem to help herself as she grew exhausted and found herself slipping back into Marcus' bed. With one arm out, she slightly rocked the crib back and forth until the baby's eyes at first fought sleep and then gave into it. 

It turned out that Abby hadn't been asleep very long when Marcus came into the room. She had heard his footsteps as her eyes barely opened to see him check on Octavia before he plugged in his phone and then slipped into the bed beside Abby.   
It didn't scare Abby, no, that wasn't what scared her at all. What terrified her was how normal it felt to feel the weight of his body take up residence on the bed. She half expected for his arm to slip around her and there was a large part of her that would have welcomed it. There was a comfort to him being next to her, for the first time since Jake's death Abby didn't feel so alone.   
When he spoke, it shocked her. 

"Abby?"

"Yes?" 

"I'm not kicking you out, I just really need to sleep." His voice was gentle and soft as he spoke to her. 

Abby looked back at him over her shoulder, "Would you be more comfortable if I were to go to the couch?" 

Marcus shook his head softly as his eyes stayed on her, "No, I'd be less comfortable if you were to leave." 

He watched as a smile spread across her lips.

"I'd be more comfortable this way too." 

He merely nodded. 

Something flashed in her mind and she turned quickly to face him, "How in the world did you set up a bed for Clarke?" 

"You're not mad, are you?"

She gave him a look that was half confused, "No, why, no, why would I be angry with you making my daughter feel as if she mattered?" 

They were facing one another, the exhaustion was written on both of them. They could see it in one another. "She said she missed her stuff early tonight when she was eating dinner." 

"And you thought that bringing her bed over would help?" 

He shrugged his shoulders, "Well, everything has been about Octavia for days now. Clarke is a sweet girl but at some point, she is going to snap if we don't make her feel important." 

It was the ‘we' in his words that made Abby grow warm, once again it made her feel like a family as if they were becoming a family. 

"Oh, and it is a blow-up mattress. I had one from my camping days." 

"It was sweet of you to do something so wonderful for Clarke."

Another nod came from him, he reached out slowly and moved a stray hair away from Abby's face and put it behind her ear. "I'm not sure why you would think that you won't be part of Octavia's life, you will and I'm sure that she will know just how much you love her." 

He moved his hand away from Abby and placed it back beneath his head. 

"You heard my conversation with Octavia." 

He smiled, "Yes, I did." 

They kept their eyes on each other for what felt like not nearly long enough. 

"What is it, Abby?"

She shook her head, "Nothing, go to sleep." 

With that, Abby turned back around and closed her eyes. 

"If something is wrong, I'd prefer that you told me, Abby." 

"I was going to say something that would probably be deemed inappropriate and so I decided against it." 

"Hmm." 

"Go to sleep, Marcus." 

"You can't tell me what to do you aren't my real mom." 

Abby let out a small laugh, "Funny boy." 

"What were you going to say that was so inappropriate?" 

"One of the things I miss about Jake was the way he would put his arm around me and I was going to ask…" 

In the end, she couldn't finish her sentence. Several heartbeats passed before she felt the shift in the mattress and Marcus was closer to her. He slipped his arm beneath the cover and wrapped his arm around her. Abby let out a sigh that was full of relief causing Marcus to smile. Abby reached out and laid her hand over his where it rested on her stomach. 

"Thank you, Marcus." 

"I miss having someone to hold, Abby, I get it." 

He placed a kiss to the back of her head before whispering, "Merry Christmas, Abby." 

To be continued……


	6. Chapter 6

"What is it, Abby?"

She shook her head, "Nothing, go to sleep."

With that, Abby turned back around and closed her eyes.

"If something is wrong, I'd prefer that you told me, Abby."

"I was going to say something that would probably be deemed inappropriate and so I decided against it."

"Hmm."

"Go to sleep, Marcus."

"You can't tell me what to do you aren't my real mom."

Abby let out a small laugh, "Funny boy."

"What were you going to say that was so inappropriate?"

"One of the things I miss about Jake was the way he would put his arm around me and I was going to ask…"

In the end, she couldn't finish her sentence. Several heartbeats passed before she felt the shift in the mattress and Marcus was closer to her. He slipped his arm beneath the cover and wrapped his arm around her. Abby let out a sigh that was full of relief causing Marcus to smile. Abby reached out and laid her hand over his where it rested on her stomach.

"Thank you, Marcus."

"I miss having someone to hold, Abby, I get it."

He placed a kiss to the back of her head before whispering, "Merry Christmas, Abby."

It was the warmth of her that felt so good against his chest, her arse firmly against him as he spooned her, the moment felt like home. Marcus wasn't at all sure that it would be ok for Abigail Griffin to feel like home. His mind drifted back to that day when he had first met her when he had been jogging down the street and there kneeling by the bushes was his wife's new friend. 

That connection to her had been instant, he still didn't know and perhaps he never would have the knowledge if the woman lying quietly next to him had felt the same way. There she had stood before him, on her face was a dirt smudge that looked as if she had already tried to wipe it away. His first thought that day had been what it would feel like to hold her face in his hands as his right thumb swiped it away. He wondered if she would blush, a slight twinkle would perhaps light up her eyes because she would know immediately that he wanted to pick her up and place her on the nearest surface. Marcus immediately pushed those thoughts from him knowing that his body would begin to have a life of his own if he were to let it go on too long. 

The house was quiet, comfortable and for the first time in years felt as if it had a life. Just weeks ago, everything was sad, dark, pain filled. Now, it was filled with the coos of a baby, Clarke's long-winded and humorous questions, and Abby's smirk when she playfully nudged Marcus or gently explained to Clarke why she couldn't behave a certain way. The more he thought about it, the more he was grateful that Aurora had left a baby on his porch. 

Last year, he had cried on Christmas Eve, he hadn't told anyone that. No, some things felt far too personal to share. He had cried as he sat on the closet floor of his bedroom staring down at a pink tank top that had once belonged to his wife. It made him angry to find it, thinking he had already donated everything that there was to be donated.   
It had felt like a betrayal to her and his son to get rid of the things that he did as if he had been trying to forget them. In fact, it hadn't been that he wanted to forget them, it had been that he couldn't see the things meant for a child that would never use them and he couldn't see the pair of jeans that were Callie's favorite. Marcus didn't want to see her favorite book sitting on the nightstand anymore because even though he had never read anything by Jane Austin, he knew just about every word of ‘Mansfield Park'. She would get excited and read every word out loud to Marcus even though he was reading his own book on the other side of the bed. 

This year he wasn't crying, in fact, he felt happy. Octavia Marie Kane had changed everything and did it so quickly. That morning he had awoken sad because it meant another Christmas season alone and now in the small bassinet nearest Abby laid a little girl that had his chin. In the room down the hall was a tiny blond who had no trouble telling Marcus her thoughts on everything. Then there was Abby with her stubbornness, softness and somehow, she managed to role those things in one of the most beautiful images that he had ever laid eyes on. 

His face was near her hair as they shared the same pillow, he couldn't help but smile as the scent of his own shampoo filled his nostrils. Images of her using his shower invaded his mind and once again he had to suppress thoughts of her strong but gentle hands washing her breasts while the suds slid down her body. Lustful ideas of her thumbs sliding over her nipples caused him to stifle a moan. 

Marcus yelled at himself to shut up, to not think about her, how he shouldn't want her as bad as he did. What if she was his to whisper too, to kiss, to let his fingers slide beneath her shirt, drawing circles as his fingers would move dangerously close to where he desperately wanted to touch her. How would she respond if they were sharing a life together, would she cup his hand as he inturned cupped her breasts?

Would he whisper to her, "I want you" as she turned her face back toward him as she let out a whimper of need? It was all so much and he felt all too needy. Thoughts of fingers sliding beneath her waistband as her body reached up to meet his fingertips as they slipped into her folds was enough to make the heat rise up into his neck.   
Holding his breath was all he could do for a few moments at a time as he thought about anything that wasn't Abby related. It took a few moments and his half-hardened member began to soften again. It took nearly an hour for him to drift off to sleep. 

When Abby woke, it was still early. The house was quiet, Marcus had moved but only slightly. Abby was now on her back, he was on his side, his head tucked into her neck as his breaths danced across her skin. His right arm was still wrapped around her stomach as if it was up to him alone to keep her safe. Instead of sliding away from his like she thought that she should, she held him instead. 

One arm had somehow made its way beneath him during the night, so instead of waking him, she let her hand reach out and lay onto his back. Abby wanted to feel his skin and yet she wanted to damn the t-shirt that he was wearing so desperate was she to feel the heat of him or maybe she was desperate to let him feel the heat of her.   
Her fingertips found their way to his shoulder blade, gently her finger moved over it until it found the place between both of his blades. How many times had she imagined what it would be like to let her tongue run over the skin there? Would his skin feel smooth beneath her mouth? How would Marcus move against her if they were kissing, would he press her into the cushions or would he want her to take control? Abby didn't want to be in control, she wanted him to touch her in the same way she envisioned that very first day as if he had to have her then and now. 

Abby stilled her fingers when she realized that she had been pressing it firmer and firmer against him. So, instead of continuing she simply held him in place for several moments until she heard his breathing slowly change as his body began to wake. Abby couldn't help but smile as Marcus came too and realized he was against her, he didn't say her name, instead, he let out a soft moan of contentment and laid his head back against her shoulder as his hand curved on hers. Marcus' thumb was on her rib cage as his fingers curled around her side and found their home against her back. 

Perhaps she should have pulled from him and instead of bothering to move away, she simply held him tighter. That was when it happened – the shift. Neither of them could have worded exactly what that shift was and yet they both felt it just the same; they knew the other was awake and yet there they stayed in the warmth of Marcus' bed, snuggled together, enjoying the warmth. 

Abby had always imagined that If a shift were to come it would happen if they were walking on the road and simply took her hand, perhaps it would happen during some stupid little argument and he would shut her up by kissing her, pressing Abby into the wall as he greedily kissed her lips. This had been none of those things and yet they felt the shift in a way that made the questions flood through their minds and gave the hope and the exact same time. Just maybe that was enough for now. 

When the silence was broken it wasn't either of them that spoke, it was Octavia in the bassinet near Abby. They were both sure the other let out a disappointed little breath and yet they didn't call the other out on it. Marcus spoke drowsily, "I'll get her, feel free to stay in bed." It then that Marcus did something that Abby was sure she would never forget.   
He turned his head softly and pressed a kiss to her shoulder and even though her pajamas covered her she felt the heat ripple through her. "I'll go get her bottle for you, Marcus." He was already slipping out from under the covers as she had spoken. "Thank you." 

Abby herself slipped from the bed and headed to the bathroom, his bathroom. Once she had brushed her teeth and washed her hands, she made her way to the kitchen to make Octavia's bottle. Making the bottles for Octavia had become so normal that Abby no longer had to measure the formula. Instead, she found herself listening to Marcus as he sang to the baby. 

She found herself smiling as she went down the hall and check on Clarke who was still sleeping heavily before heading back to the bedroom where she had slept in Marcus' arms. Octavia was in a fresh diaper and Marcus was busy buttoning up the red footsie pajamas that said, ‘Baby's first Christmas'. Abby hadn't thought about it when she fluffed the pillows where she had slept and then climbed back beneath the covers. Marcus didn't think about it when he handed Octavia to Abby without saying a word, it just seemed so natural. 

Marcus disappeared into the bathroom, Abby sat cross-legged on the bed, carefully laid Marcus' pillow across her lap before placing Octavia on it. Blue eyes stared back at Abby as she smiled down at the baby. "Merry Christmas, Octavia." With that, she leaned forward and placed a kiss to the sweet-smelling skin of the little girl.   
The mattress dipped much like it had the night before, Marcus sat on the bed before placing his weight on his hip and forearm as he stared down at his daughter, "She is something else isn't she, Abby?"

A smile formed across Abby's lips as she was no longer looking at Octavia and instead her eyes solely focused on the man beside her. There was something sexy about this Marcus, well, every Marcus. Desperately she wanted to lean forward and breathe deep so the scent of his hair could wash over her.   
"She is part of you, Marcus, of course, she is amazing." 

He let out a laugh, one that sounded almost husky. "You think I'm amazing!" 

Marcus watched as the sparkle filled her eyes before the smile grew broader and a laugh escaped her. 

"Maybe that wasn't what I meant." 

He leaned forward so that their faces were mere inches apart. Marcus could see every detail of her face, the skin that was made even more beautiful by age, the sleepiness that still showed itself just beneath her eyes, few things were as mesmerizing as Abigail Griffin. 

When his face came slightly closer, the humor in Abby's eyes changed to something else altogether that made him grow warm. He dared himself to speak, "It was what you meant, Abby, you like me." 

Words weren't coming to her, she knew that something should be said and all she could do was stare back at him as his eyes fell to her lips where they seemed to linger. Her tongue darted out as she quickly licked her lips, it wasn't that she was sure he was going to kiss her it was that Abby wanted to taste his lips with all the hunger that had been buried within her. 

Abby also hadn't expected him to speak as he leaned in even further, his fingertips lightly touched her neck, "Merry Christmas, Abby". She couldn't respond although she knew that she should, instead Abby tried to steady her breath as he shifted so that his body was close to hers. 

That was the moment that her lips parted slowly in anticipation of the way his tongue would feel as it tasted hers. She allowed her free hand to come up and lay against his chest as her fingers gripped his shirt. 

Marcus could see that she wanted this, he had known it from the instant they met, that unspoken attraction that now needed to be felt. The tips of his fingers slid to the back of her neck as his palm laid claim against her neck. 

It was funny how the rest of the world could fade away in a moment like that. With her free hand, she gently pulled him by the shirt, a light moan from him when her fingers slid over his nipple. A part of her wanted to concentrate on the thing that she had just discovered about him and the other wanted to discover his lips for the first time.   
His lips met hers as his hand lightly fisted within her hair which caused her to gasp against his lip. Marcus stopped briefly in order to look at her lips before he allowed his to graze against hers in a kiss that turned deep immediately. It was Abby that opened her mouth first, if you were to ask her years later, she wouldn't be able to say if she had done it purposely to feel his tongue or if it was the feel of his breath on her causing Abby to shudder. 

Then she knew that he was tasting her and enjoying it, she could tell by the sounds of his breathing and Abby wanted to get lost in it. Suddenly she wished that Octavia was still sleeping and that she and Marcus were alone beneath the covers. Marcus must have known just how hungry she was for the kiss and the way his name came off her lips in a ragged breath.   
When his hand slid down and then pressed against her lower back bringing her closer to him, it was beyond Abby's control to do anything but to let her head fall away from him so that her neck was exposed. Marcus wasted no time in claiming it as his own as his lips trailed small kisses from her throat to just under her ear where he grazed her with his teeth.   
When exactly had she wrapped an arm around his head and why the hell hadn't they reached this moment before now? The heat was pooling in a way that she hadn't found arousal in a few years. Marcus' mouth reached her ear as he pulled her air lobe in between his teeth as her name was pulled from his lips with his desperate need for her. 

"Santa came! Santa came!" 

Their heads shot apart from each other as Marcus reached behind him and grabbed a pillow by placing it on his lap. They heard the running footsteps of Clarke as the little blond-haired girl bounded into the room. If seeing her mother on the same bed as Marcus upset her in any way, Clarke didn't show it.

"Mommy, Marcus, did you guys hear me?" 

"So, he put presents under the tree already?" Marcus said it with a slight strain in his voice causing Abby to blush and grin. 

Clarke was bouncing up and down, "He did, Marcus, he really did! C'mon!" She was pulling on his and while Marcus looked over at Abby with wide eyes. 

"Honey, why don't we let Octavia here finish eating and then all four of us go out and open the gifts together?" 

Her blue eyes stared up at her mother and it was clear that she wasn't exactly on board with this game plan. Marcus stuck out his arms to Clarke who looked up at him with her sad eyes, it took her a second as she wiped one eye with the back of her hand as she reached up to him. Abby watched as Marcus' easily picked up Clarke and sat her in between them. 

"Clarke, remember how we talked about Octavia needing a lot of care?" Abby said the words gently to her daughter, her brown eyes on her daughter as she spoke. 

"But Santa was here." 

A small nod from Abby as she began to speak, "Clarke I want you to sit back against the headboard".

Clarke didn't argue and instead scooted back and did as her mother said. 

"You are going to feed Octavia because I know you've been wanting too." 

At that Clarke lit up, her blue eyes not longer looking nearly as defeated. Marcus took the pillow that his daughter had been lying on as Abby gently picked Octavia up. As he positioned the pillow onto Clarke's lap, Abby laid Octavia back on the pillow. 

"What do you have to do now, Clarke?" 

She looked up at Marcus as she began to answer his question, "I have to keep her head up." 

He leaned forward and kissed her on top of the head, "Very good." 

Abby placed the bottle into Clarke's free hand and watched as her daughter carefully put it back into Octavia's mouth, "I'm good huh mama?" 

"You are very smart and you're doing a great job." 

Marcus watched the interaction and the way that Abby was so gentle and loving to both girls. So many things were running through his mind including that kiss, her fingers flicking against his nipple and that raspy moan as he had flicked his tongue beneath her ear. He wasn't sure that he'd be able to think of anything else until she was pressed between him and the bed. Marcus looked over to her and saw her eyes locked onto his. The stare was dark and intense between them so much so that a rush of blood traveled back to his groin. In order to stop the heat, he was forced to look away from her. 

It was long after Clarke opened up all her presents and Marcus' had put batteries in some and put together others that Marcus put his daughter in the swing and let her gently go back and forth in front of the Christmas tree where she seemed at peace while staring at the soft glow of the lights. 

Abby was putting the leftovers from Christmas dinner away in Tupperware when Marcus came into the kitchen. She wasn't shocked when she saw him click on the coffee pot and pull a coffee cup from the cupboard. "Do you want some coffee?" Every night he asked regardless of the fact that she had never turned down a cup, the thought caused her to smile, "Of course." 

He smiled that smile that could force the cold away from her bones and heat began to move into her tired muscles. Abby wanted to keep her eyes on him and instead put the last of the mashed potatoes into the refrigerator.  
She moved to the sink and washed the three bottles that were sitting in there along with Clarke's small cup that she had sipped hot cocoa out of earlier. Her mind was lost in thought as she continued with the chore, it was images of that morning that rushed through her. 

"Abby?" His voice was soft as he spoke. 

"Yes?" 

She could feel him coming closer to her, it was as if the heat grew more intense as he walked across the room. Abby couldn't have been sure what he was going to do until he did it. Marcus came to a stop just behind her and the longer he didn't say anything the more her heart began beating that much harder. What more could she do other than stand there? 

He reached out and placed his hands on the counter in front of her, his chest against her back and yet, she wasn't afraid, never of Marcus could she ever be afraid. 

"I don't know what that meant this morning, Abby, I just want to make it clear that I'm not afraid of my attraction towards you. I want to feel your lips against me again." 

Abby felt the breath as it seemed to be sucked from her lungs as she turned around to face him. Marcus never moved his arms as she turned. Their eyes were once again locked on one another until his drifted down to her mouth, instead of moving away from her he moved closer to her. 

"Marcus?" 

His eyes were still on her mouth as his hands slipped to the sides of her neck, his thumbs on her jaw as he tilted her head so that she was looking up at him. 

"What?" 

"Once you kiss me….." 

Her tongue darted out and slid across her lips. She felt his intake of breath where her breasts were against his chest. "What Abby?" 

"I'm not afraid of you not stopping if you asked me too but you should know that the second your lips are against me that there won't be a fiber in my being that isn't going to want you so, you should tread carefully." 

He shook his head, a small smile playing against his lips, "How long have you wanted me to kiss you, Abby?" 

A blush crept through her cheeks as her eyes grew darker. "From that first moment, Marcus. That very first moment you stepped into my world." 

"And I don't ever plan on leaving it." 

With that he kissed her, Abby fusing herself to him as his arms wrapped around her. One hand in her hair, the other once again on the small of her back as they gave into every desperate touch and every heated kiss.  
He picked her up and sat her on the edge of the sink, his hands on her sides as his lips continued their search of her, they clung to each other like teenagers who were learning to live for the very first time. Abby pulled back just slightly, holding his face in her hands. "Marcus, are the girls asleep?" 

Marcus was breathless as he spoke, his eyes moving from her eyes to her lips, down her body and then back to her eyes. "Clarke was asleep on her new sleeping bag and Octavia was drifting off when I put her in the swing." 

"I love that damn swing." 

Marcus let out a small chuckled before capturing her lips again, he kissed her long and hard before pulling her head back lightly by her hair so that once again he could taste her neck. "Marcus?" 

"Hmm?" He was too mesmerized by her skin to stop his tongue, lips, and teeth. 

"Take me to bed." 

"Fuck, Abby." 

With that, he once again picked her up as Abby wrapped her legs around him. 

To be continued………………………..


End file.
